Public Service Announcement

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Important Notice!

We take a break from our scheduled program to offer a public service announcement for all potential Resident Cast Members:

For anyone considering renting an apartment at 350 East 52nd Street, please note the following:

The landlord, William Koeppel is renting rent stabilized units at market rate prices but will have you sign a rider to protect himself from being sued.  There is a current class action lawsuit against William Koeppel for charging market rents while claiming the J-51 tax abatement for rent stabilized units.

Once your lease is up, you can expect a rent increase in excess of $3,000!

Yes, you read that correctly.   Residents with a $4,200 lease for 2 bedroom apartment in the building recently received a lease renewal for  $7,281.00.

That’s a 73% increase!!

(I don’t know about you, but if I were ever in a position to pay over $7,000.00 a month in rent, I would not want to see roaches all over the laundry room, I would expect the building to have a real number sign at the entrance, doormen without criminal records, UPS delivery, visitor announcements, garbage removal, a fresh paint job, maybe a gym . . .  I’m just saying . . .)

    

Other recent actual renewal leases for studio apartments:

1 bedroom: rented at $3,000 with a promise of no increase until 2014, first year actual renewal lease arrived for $5,400.

Studios:

$2,100 current rent; renewal offered for $3,056.55

$2,850  current rent; renewal offered for  $3,751.60

$1,900  current rent; renewal offered for  $3,116.81

$2,025   current rent; renewal offered for  $2,418

$2,100   current rent; renewal offered for  $2,500

There is an Application For A Rent Reduction Based On Decreased Building-wide Services  against William Koeppel for a gross reduction in services which include but are not limited to, the following: (edited from actual complaint – read entire complaint here)

Unattended Lobby: the Association has documented times and dates for failure to provide a full-time doorman.

Unauthorized Access: guests are granted access without buzzing and on one occasion a female tenant came home to her ex –boyfriend who was sitting on her couch. Not only was access granted but the spare key was given to the guest – TWICE!

Employee Screening
: failed to conduct background checks on any of the employees working at the Building (resulting in criminals working here who were arrested while on duty) Workers have verified that they are not screened and are being paid “off the books” and have access and control of the Building.

Garbage: We have always received daily pickup and now at best the garbage is picked up once a week. Merely piling the garbage up on the side of the building to be picked up at your leisure in unacceptable and is clearly a bona fide decrease in Services.

Bed Bugs: The Association has evidence that Assured Environments Pest Control screened for bedbugs in Apt. 7C, which came back positive for bedbug skins.  According to the Building’s former manager, and other reliable sources, two other apartments, including 2D, currently occupied by Tom Martini, have also had bedbugs.  To add insult to injury you have the nerve and audacity to tell me and others, when questioned about the bedbug situation, that you “didn’t owe anybody proof” that the situation had been adequately addressed.  You then told me “don’t let the bedbugs bite”. Not only is this false but you are REQUIRED BY LAW TO NOTIFY THE TENANTS
 
Mice: The Association has proof, namely the former building manager (see Tom Martini, as well as several current and former Tenant’s, regarding the serious rodent problem at the Building. Two (2) tenants have recently broken their lease and there are numerous other complaints of mice throughout individual apartments as well as the common areas of the Building.

Roaches: There have been numerous complaints of roaches and other Vermin, caused by the Garbage (see #2 above). See photo attached as Exhibit B

Maggotts: As evidenced by this video the garbage is a health hazard when it sits long enough to grow maggots http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=eisWJLIT_K0

Fed Ex and UPS Deliveries: Our “Luxury Building” no longer receives UPS deliveries (as their union will not cross the picket line)

Doorman Service: In addition to the lack of security provided by the Doormen (see #1 above) the Association has also experienced a drastic decrease in typical doorman service we expect as a “luxury building”. They include, but are not limited to the following:
i.      Helping with packages and groceries
ii.      Holding the door open
iii.      Unattended front desk
iv.      Doormen on phone & busy texting
v.      Daily, doormen mis-mark deliveries & give to the wrong tenants
vi.      Missing Packages

Awning: The awning serves to protect tenants from the elements and its removal is a decrease in Building Services

Harassment: On November 30, 2011 you (William Koeppel) attempted to illegally evict the recently fired manager of the Building,  (Apt. 2D), twice.  The 17th precinct realized that he cannot be removed except through court action.  On November 30, 2011 you LIED to Brooklyn detectives working on President Obama’s detail, that there was a squatter posing a threat in the Building, despite the fact that earlier that same day the local precinct had already advised you that court action was your only means of recourse.

During the second attempt to have Tom arrested, a tenant was approached by Brian Rexroat, an executive with “Modern Staffing” (the replacement firm you retained that had employed Tom Martini), and said to tenant “you look like a dick sucker”.  (One of many harassment incidents)

Security Deposit Confiscation: Former tenants have made it clear that you (William Koeppel) regularly keep security deposits after tenants leave (over-stating damage to the apartment or giving no reason what so ever).

Failure to Pay Interest on Security Deposit:  I am sure that you (William Koeppel) are aware that Tenant’ssecurity deposit is subject to the terms of General Obligations Law §  7-103, Accordingly, please also allow this letter to act as formal request for you to provide each and every Tenant with a breakdown of interest earned from the date in which their respective Lease was signed through the end of the 2011 calendar year, along with a check for any interest earned on their security.

Chain Lock: Landlords of multiple dwellings in New York City must also install a chain-door guard on the entrance door to each apartment so as to permit partial opening of the door. (Multiple Dwelling Law Sec. 51-a, 51-c; NYC Admin. Code Sec. D26-20.05)  This is even more important in light of the security risk causes by the lack of Services.

Cell Masts/Towers/Base Units: You (WIlliam Koeppel) have entered into agreements with cell phone providers that lease space for 28 cell masts as the Building.
 
Heat: You (William Koeppel)  have failed to provide heat in accordance with Multiple Dwelling Law § 79; Mul tiple Residence Law § 173; NYC Admin. Code § 27-2029,

Broker Fees: You (William Koeppel) have been illegally requiring Tenants to pay a broker fee to your wife (Jean Koeppel), despite the fact that she is NEVER involved with any of the lease negotiations nor has she assisted in obtaining the apartment. As you are aware, the broker must assist the Tenant in finding and obtaining an apartment before a commission may be charged.  In addition, under the Rent Stabilization Code, a broker’s commission may be considered “rent” in excess of legal rent when there is too close of a business or financial connection between the broker and the landlord. 9 NYCRR § 2525.1.

and if that isn’t enough to make you think twice about residing at 350 East 52nd Street, here is the list of complaints presented to the 17th precinct at a community board meeting addressing additional incidents:

Multiple unauthorized entrants

Unattended lobby (too many times to count)

Apartment keys given out without authorization
on many occasions

Multiple Sleeping Doormen

Physical altercations in lobby endangering tenants
& resulting in arrests

Disconnected phone line from lobby to resident apartments, granting
no access in an emergency (or to announce a guest!)

Doormen using weapons

Convicted criminals running the building

No chain locks as required by law

Vandalism – rugs slashed, gate removed

Theft of tenant security deposits

Illegal broker fees collected

Un-addressed bedbug, rodent and
maggot incidents

Hazardous storage of garbage

Dangerous looking men allowed
access to building premises in the
middle of the night to haul garbage

No UPS delivery or other union services

Opened tenant packages

Missing tenant packages

Doormen urinating in waste paper basket

Extreme foul language in front of and TO tenants

Staffing Agency Owner, Jim Rexroat, is dangerous, threatening & sports multiple criminal records including theft, writing worthless checks, exposure of sexual organ, indecent exposure, lewd and lascivious behavior and failing to remit taxes!  

[Note that Jim Rexroat owns the SECURITY company that places the temporary staff at 350 East 52nd Street.]

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If you are considering a move to 350, please take a good look around this site so that you don’t find yourself in an unexpected bad situation.  Please know that although you may find our reality show humorous, the incidents are all real and often dangerous.

Billy’s Bills

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William Koeppel  sued AGAIN!!  $88,817.69

Bill Koepell doesn’t like bills.  So rather than pay them he waits to be sued. Recently sued again, Koeppel alleged that the legal fees charged back in 2009 are unreasonable, duplicitive and that plaintiff has over billed him!

[Resident Cast Members (RCM's) can't help but to double over in hysterics as they discuss their illegal and outrageously high rents & compared them to the stabilized rates the apartments warrant under NY law]

There is a long list of people William Koeppel has failed to pay but today’s episode focuses on William’s latest lawsuit.

[Rehearsal: RCM's review notes from way back in time -  a time when 350 East 52nd Street was a respectable residence.  A time when William Koeppel was suing his own mother for control of her building; the time when he insinuated that his  mother killed her husband and Bill Koeppel tried to convince the courts to exhume his own father's body; the time William Koeppel told the press he was raised in a dog cage]

Back when William Koeppel was fighting his family to get every penny he thought was possible from his deceased father’s estate, he hired an attorney with whom he signed a letter of engagement, agreeing upon fees charged by the attorney.  The letter was crystal clear – you can read it here: Exhibit A-Retainer Letter

Naturally, the law firm  had to sue William to collect the fee William had agreed upon. You can read the summons and complaint about that here: DLA v BK Summons and Complaint . For additional reading about this case, see Billy’s Briefcase .

We understand that is a lot of reading and probably more time than you want to spend on anything concerning William Koeppel, therefore, today’s episode will offer a recap of Bill’s latest scandal.

[Scene: (Narrated by RCM-1)  RCM-2  sits outside of 350 East 52nd Street with striking staff holding a pile of paperwork from Bill's latest lawsuit. Striking workers shake their heads in disbelief ]

[RCM-1] Despite DLA Piper’s good faith attempts to recover the outstanding billed amounts, Mr. Koeppel and Whitehouse have failed to honor and comply with their obligations under their agreement with DLA Piper, and have failed to pay the outstanding $88,817.69 due and owing to DLA Piper.

[RCM-2] Check this out, guys – WK is being sued for not paying another bill!  He owes so many people money at this point, we can’t even get non-union service people to come to 350. Word has it that even the painter quit because WK wouldn’t pay him.  Anyway he’s now trying to stiff one of his past lawyers to the tune of $88,817.69.

[RCM-1] The court document states:

The record demonstrates that the legal fees earned under the 2006 retainer were fair and reasonable given the complexity of the matter, the firms’ legal experience and long association with William, the considerable time expended on the matter and the very favorable result obtained (see Rules of Professional Conduct [22 NYCRR 1200.0] rule 1.5, formerly Code of Professional Responsibility DR 2-106 [22 NYCRR 1200.11(b)]).
Moreover, the 2006 retainer was openly negotiated, addressed William’s liquidity
problems, and was independently reviewed by his outside counsel.

THIS CONSTITUTES THE DECISION AND ORDER

OF THE SUPREME COURT, APPELLATE DIVISION, FIRST DEPARTMENT.

[Striking workers and RCM's clap & jump for joy. Wooo hooo's could be heard as far away as 51st street]

RCM Episode Review Notes:

Daily News Sept. 8, 1998
The New York millionaire who once said that his mother locked him in a dog cage is biting back.
Real estate heir William Koeppel sued his mother, Roberta, over the family’s estimated $48 million fortune last year in Manhattan Surrogate Court, challenging her handling of properties that he’s due to inherit from his father, Robert. Now he also wants his father’s body exhumed, sources say.
Koeppel, 39, a former fund-raiser for Mayor Giuliani, wouldn’t talk about it. But a cousin, Steven, says some family members “found the death and the circumstances surrounding the death highly unusual.”
Robert Koeppel, who built a property empire in New York and Florida, apparently was felled by a heart attack in 1996 at age 84.
But there was no autopsy and the family finds it curious that, hours after discovering her husband’s body in their $5 million Fifth Ave. apartment, Roberta Koeppel had his office safes delivered to her and drilled open.
Roberta, 61, said in court papers that the safes held stock certificates. Her attorney, Edward Walsh, said she simply “did precisely what an executor is required to do: find out what the decedent owned.”
Walsh adds that “I am quite confident Mr. Koeppel died of natural causes. He was not in the best of health. You don’t have autopsies in situations like this.”
William Koeppel is said to fear that his father met with foul play. He also has told friends that he suspects the safes his mother opened held a priceless watch collection and corporate documents that could help his case against her.
Sources say William and other family shareholders are now trying to wrest away control of three New York City buildings that Roberta manages. The question is who should run those buildings and who will get the houses, the yacht and a $3,000 set of golf clubs.
William – who pleaded guilty in 1996 to pressuring tenants and brokers to contribute to the Giuliani campaign is said lately to be urging the IRS to investigate Roberta and the Koeppel estate.
“We’ve received no notice of any kind from the IRS,” Walsh says.
William would not say whether he’s trying to get the IRS to audit his mother, but in a deposition he admitted to having warned his father that the elder Koeppel was “sowing the seeds of destruction with all his tax evasion.”
He also said in a deposition that his parents fought constantly and that his father once told him: “I have a tightrope to walk. She is out of control and crazy.”
Cousin Steven claims “there was a lot of hate” in the Koeppels’ 40-year marriage.
But according to Roberta, it was William who hastened the patriarch’s death.
“I don’t think he took a knife or gun to him, but his actions were just as lethal,” Roberta, said in court papers. She also said that William “badgered” his dad relentlessly for property ownership and that he once even knocked the arthritic old man to the floor.
William insists he did no such thing. “I always loved and respected my father,” he told us. “We were the best of friends and business partners.”
Which is more than he’ll say about his mother, who he said kept him kenneled and sedated as a child. Roberta has responded that her son is “pathetic” and a “lost soul” but denied any child abuse. In fact, she has accused him of grabbing and twisting her arm, dousing her clothes with a flammable liquid and planting an eavesdropping device in her bedroom. In 1995, she won an order of protection against him.
William, who admits that his gun collection includes an Uzi, has disputed all those charges. But he did try to have his mother arrested in 1996 for attempting to remove items from a Palm Beach condo they’re fighting over.
The matter is due for trial in December.

Ready, Set . . . Jump!!

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If you’ve tuned in to the 350 East 52nd Street Reality Show just one time, you’re probably aware that building owner, William Koeppel has used a number of unconventional methods to rid the building of tenants so that he can turn over the rent stabilized apartments and collect higher market rate rents. (If you’re new to this show and find yourself thinking, that seems illegal, well, it is. see lawsuit).

On this weeks episode, we introduce you to William Koeppel’s latest effort to eliminate his pesky tenants.

[Scene:  15th floor.  Long hallway leads to out door sun deck shared by Resident Cast Members (RCM's). One of few remaining vestiges of "luxury building".]

Ready to enjoy a bit of sunshine and company, RCM – J steps off the elevator on the 15th floor when he is alarmed by the new addition to the entrance of the sun roof.

Emergency exit to where?  If there was an actual emergency, RCM’s wonder, what is the plan here?

Once through the emergency exit, be ready to jump.  Here is what you’ll find on the other side of the emergency door:

For rehearsal purposes only, we offer an older photo of the sun deck.  One kind RCM purchased a pool for all tenants to enjoy. Upon discovery of tenant enjoyment, William promptly instructed temporary staff to confiscate and destroy the pool.  RCM’s will not have to worry about the pool obstructing emergency exit.

Because there is no actual exit on the 15th floor sun deck, RCM’s will jump to safety.  Here would be the landing point, 15 floors below:

Warning:  Please do not try this at home.

Turtle Bay tenants, alleging illegal deregulation, granted class action status

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Landlord charged market rate while receiving J-51 tax credit, group says

August 07, 2012 03:30PM 
By David Jones

A New York State Supreme Court judge on Monday granted class action status to a suit by tenants who claim that their landlord illegally deregulated 72 apartments in a luxury Turtle Bay rental.

Nine tenants at the 137-unit Whitehouse, at 350 East 52nd Street, alleged that landlord William Koeppel charged tenants market rate rents for 20 years, even though he received J-51 tax breaks from the city. The court in in the landmark 2009 Stuyvesant Town/Peter Cooper Village case ruled that landlords could not deregulate units while receiving those benefits.

Class action status means that the final ruling would apply not only to existing tenants, but also to those who have moved out of the building and future tenants, too. “The named plaintiffs and the putative class members share a common goal — namely, ensuring that the landlord charges tenants of the apartment building no more than the maximum legal rent,” Judge Ajay Singh wrote in his opinion. “…That they be afforded the protections of the [Rent Stabilization Law and Rent Control Law] and that they receive compensation for past overcharges.”

Tenants at the 11,000-plus-unit Stuyvesant Town/Peter Cooper Village complex won a landmark ruling requiring landlords to give back hundreds of millions of dollars in refunds to tenants afterthey charged market rent to tenants when the landlord received J-51 benefits. That ruling required landlords to reduce existing rent and to refund rent to previous tenants. Since then, allegations have been made against landlords across the city, including at London Terrace Gardens, in Chelsea.

“Landlords are not uniformly changing all apartments back to rent stabilization,” Matthew Brinkerhoff, co-counsel for the tenants, toldThe Real Deal. “Landlords are either resisting or trying to interpret the ruling from a couple of years ago to try to minimize the amount of overcharge.”

However, Koeppel downplayed the impact of the decision, tellingThe Real Deal that the judge’s ruling was merely a procedural decision that would help make the case easier to manage. “It’s just that the judge is looking for judicial efficiency,“ he said. “The case is meritless.”

He said the building is fully rented, and that the units, which include studios and one-bedrooms, are rapidly turning over, and generating starting rents of between $3,500 to $4,000 a month.

The building has been the subject of protest by tenants and employees, including a 2011 strike by doormen and porters over a dispute with Local 32BJ of the Service Employees International Union.

East 52nd Street Garbage Dump

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Nearly 9 months ago William Koeppel removed the awning from the front of East 52nd Street for the sole purpose of making the striking workers uncomfortable. Almost immediately several compassionate Resident Cast Members (RCM’s) purchased a tent for the striking employees, which foiled William Koeppel’s mal-intentioned plan (see here).  Of course WK did not consider the residents of his building or, have concern for their discomfort.

One of the nice things about renting in a building with a awning is that residents are able to hail a cab in the snow or pouring rain without getting soaked, or, unload their belongings from the car without concern of ruining their laptops or drenching their babies.  In the summer, when all air conditioners are running, the awning protects RCM’s from the constant dripping of water from the units. This is one reason people agree to pay extra for “luxury apartments”. Here at 350 East 52nd Street, we just pay extra for no apparent reason.     

Every single day since the beginning of June there has been a puddle directly outside the front door. It is nearly impossible to plan an exit / entrance to the building without getting at least one large drop of air conditioner juice on one’s head.  week after week, this can become fairly annoying. We think it may be WK’s attempt to drive RCM’s out of the building using his own version of Chinese water torture.   

Here’s our resident puddle.  No matter how hot and sunny, it ceases to dry as the stream of water is continuous.

Our awning has been stored for nearly 9 months in the alley between 340 and 350 East 52nd Street along with the rest of the trash.   All RCM’s on the west side of our building get to enjoy this view daily:

Complaint letters to Duell Management Co. continue to go unanswered. RCM’s are left to wonder why Duell Management continues to represent William Koeppel’s buildings.  Might there be something we don’t know about the relationship with Koppel & Duell?  Stay tuned as we poke around in an attempt to uncover the answer . . .

Neighborhood Art

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Some people despise graffiti & outdoor wall art. But sometimes it’s quite beautiful and many times it communicates an important message to it’s viewers.  Resident Cast Member’s of the 350 East 52nd Street Reality Show discovered this impressive art work on 1st Avenue this morning. 

This is a public service announcement.

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Vacation Over

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It appears that the vacation is over for resident cast members of the East 52nd Street Reality Show. The psychopath has returned from Palm Beach and as impossible as it may be to believe, he seems to be sicker than ever. William Koeppel displays his most despicable behavior to date in this weeks episode.

This show contains scenes that some viewers may find disturbing
and is intended for mature audiences only.  

Viewer discretion advised.

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  • [Scene: the striking workers of 350 East 52nd Street remain loyal to the residents by continuing the strike after more than one year. The mood is somber.  Sammy, one of our most beloved strikers, has just returned from burying his brother earlier in the week.  Sammy's brother lost his battle to a long and painful illness at the age of just 62 years old. The grief was palpable and Sammy is comforted by his extended family at 350.]
  • [Take 1]
Enter William Koeppel.
William Koeppel waddles up the sidewalk bearing his disturbingly fake smile, wearing his signature sun glasses & clutching his attache, of course.  He walks right up to Sammy and proceeds to vomit the following:
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“Unemployment is almost up – You better get a job soon or you’re going to wind up dead like your brother”.  He promptly waddled into the building for refuge.
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  • 3 days later. Same scene – only this time Sammy is accompanied by his little boy, Sammy Jr., age 9.
  • [Take 2]
Enter William Koeppel.
William Koeppel waddles up the sidewalk bearing his disturbingly fake smile, wearing his signature sun glasses & clutching his attache, of course.  He walks right up to Sammy and proceeds to vomit the following:
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“Unemployment is almost up – You better get a job soon or you’re going to wind up dead like your brother”.

  

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Again! Twice in 3 days!

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William promptly attempts to waddle into the building for refuge but can’t waddle quite fast enough this time.
Sammy steps in front of the uncivilized lowbrow and tells him what an ass he is & never to speak like that in front of his son again.  RCM’s, strikers and other witnesses are amazed at how Sammy is able to hold back from squashing the vulgarian right into the sidewalk and then kick him down the sewer where he belongs.
William is scared.  Very scared. He weasels his way inside the building and demands the Modern Staffing temp workers call the police because Sammy is harassing him. The police are called.  
  • [scene: Lobby-  giant lightbulb hovers over William Koeppel as the words to a thought appear – text inside lightbulb reads: Oh shit! Sammy wasn’t harassing me,  I  was harassing Sammy! I better scram before the NYPD arrives”]
With the fastest waddle we’ve seen to date, William Koeppel makes his way down East 52nd Street and disappears on Second Avenue.  
The police arrive and are visibly pissed off by Koeppel wasting their time once again.
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summer staff

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Earl, the former daytime doorman will continue to play the part of building manager. Jesus,  Daniel, FrederickBrandon, Ron Steve will be starring as the 3:00 – 11:00 doorman.

Daniel’s brother Julien will replace Daniel as the weekend porter –  but until Darien (jailed) gets back from jail (Darien will not be coming back anytime soon)  Julien, a mystery man Steve new mystery man will fill in as porter.

Raymond, another porter has taken some time off from the show to recover from a car accident he had several weeks ago on his way to pick up the UPS packages for 350 East 52nd Street. Update: Raymond has returned.

Chris, the original weekend porter, has also been filling in as doorman recently with hopes of remaining full time. Chris got the job.  Mystery man gets porter position. The mystery weekend porter, whose name we never knew, got fired. We now have new, new mystery weekend porter who we will introduce as soon as someone introduces him to the residents.  Modern Staffing demoted Chris from full time day doorman back to weekend only porter while Carlos is hired to be the 7:00 – 3:00 weekday doorman and Curtis will work the weekend day shift. Shaheen will work weekday nights.  When asked why Chris hasn’t been her for several weeks, the common answer is “I dunno”.  It appears as though Chris is no longer. . . Chris. Will we have a weekend porter? Stay tuned!

Finally, the night shift;  Joey Shaheen will be the weekend guy and JacobRanfiDaquan, Mohamad, we have no idea who will work  weeknights at the moment. *Update*  New week night guy – Ravi.  You are now up to speed.

Rumor has it that Modern Staffing slug, Brian Rexroat, has been spotted in midtown. You’ve been warned.

Coming up - William Koeppel’s most despicable behavior to date.  Be sure to stay tuned.

Staff Update

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Earl, the former daytime doorman will continue to play the part of building manager. Jesus,  Daniel, Frederick, Brandon, Ron will be starring as the 3:00 – 11:00 doorman.

Daniel’s brother Julien will replace Daniel as the weekend porter –  but until Darien (jailed) gets back from jail (Darien will not be coming back anytime soon)  Julien, a mystery man will fill in as porter.

Raymond, another porter has taken some time off from the show to recover from a car accident he had several weeks ago on his way to pick up the UPS packages for 350 East 52nd Street. Update: Raymond has returned.

Chris, the original weekend porter, has also been filling in as doorman recently with hopes of remaining full time. Chris got the job.  Mystery man gets porter position. The mystery weekend porter, whose name we never knew, got fired. We now have new mystery weekend porter who we will introduce as soon as someone introduces him to the residents.  Modern Staffing demoted Chris from full time day doorman back to weekend only porter while Carlos is hired to be the 7:00 – 3:00 weekday doorman and Curtis will work the weekend day shift.

Finally, the night shift;  Joey Shaheen will be the weekend guy and JacobRanfi, Daquan, Mohamad works weeknights at the moment.

Our striking doormen remain outside to the dismay of residents and area neighbors.  Union 32bj has reignited it’s commitment by organizing rallies on Tuesdays and Thursdays, inviting union members from surrounding buildings to join in the noise making. We honor our doormen for having the strength and dedication to persevere. They do this not for their own good, but for their commitment to the union, as they understand that the intent of the replacement staffing company is to use 350 East 52nd Street as their entry into taking over all union buildings in the city.  You are invited to be a part of our reality show by stopping by and offering our men words of encouragement, or help in any way you can.

“In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins- not through strength but by perseverance.”
 - H. Jackson Brown 

Elevator Outrage

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April 30th 7:30pm - One of two elevators inoperable.

April 30th 9:30pm - Two of two elevators inoperable.

May 1st.  It’s now 9:30 am and not only are both elevators still not working, there is no sign of an elevator maintenance company on East 52nd Street. After all, why should landlord William Koeppel care, as he enjoys himself in Palm Beach, no doubt laughing his ass off at the enormous rents he is collecting for his ‘Luxury Rental Building’ on East 52nd Street.

There are at least 6 elderly people in the building that in no way could make it up or down the stairs in the event of an emergency.  We have physically challenged people, people with injuries, heart conditions, babies and pregnant women.  One resident cast member was forced to carry her 13 year old, 70lb dog up 12 flights of stairs after waiting 2 hours in the lobby for the elevator repair people to arrive. They never did.

Resident cast members are fuming  and there have been numerous complaints to 311 this morning.

Just like with past incidents of strangers being given unauthorized access to our apartments, when residents complained with no relief, we ask ourselves, “Are we waiting for an actual rape or murder before our rights are recognized?”

Today as we shlep up and down many flights of stairs with our pets and children in tow in an attempt to get to work, we pray that there will be no emergency situations that will endanger the people left alone in their apartments who would be unable to escape or help themselves.  Are we anticipating a fatality? No.  Is it possible? Of course.  We’ll just wait & see.

Company!

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While the resident cast prepares to catch you up on recent events at 350 East 52nd Street, the good people from Union 32BJ have agreed to do several episodes each week.  Here are some scenes from this weeks union visit:

And boy, do the peeps from 32BJ know how to make some noise!  Last week they came to visit twice and each time brought more friends.  They even invited folks from other unions who were delighted to be seen as extras in the East 52nd Street Reality Show. Even more newbies are expected this week.  Stay tuned.

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

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Every once in a while our silly Resident Cast Members like to interrupt our grueling schedule with some recreation.  Here is this weeks challenge.  Study the picture below (taken at 10:12 pm on April 5th).

The first person to respond with the correct answer will be eligible to win a brand new dead bolt lock in brass, chrome or nickel finish!

*See details, contest rules & regulations below.

*

The Ultimate in a Full Service Building!

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Here at East 52nd Street all of the cast & crew have been given the opportunity to pay exorbitant rents in exchange for services that truly go above and beyond other doorman buildings in midtown.   For instance, the doorman will graciously give your key to anyone, just for the asking. Where else can one get that kind of service? Only at 350!

[scene: Early on Saturday morning, March 31st, Resident Cast Member X (RCM-X) sits with his coffee and his thoughts in the privacy of his own living room at 350 East 52nd Street. To the shock and surprise of RCM-X, the door to his apartment opens and in walks a complete stranger. Scene begins with RCM-X flying off couch in surprise as steaming hot coffee spills onto couch, carpet and self]

RCM-X:  OMG! Jesus Christ!  Who are you??? What are you doing in my apartment?

Stranger: I don’t know.

RCM-X: Get the [bleep!] out of my home!

            Now!

Stranger scurries back into hallway.  After calming heart palpitations and icing burns on body, RCM-X storms down to lobby where he finds new weekend doorman who appears to be about 17 years old.  RCM-X asks the child “manning” the lobby how the [bleep!] someone had the key to RCM – X’s [bleeping] apartment and what the [bleep] was going on.  The door-child was pretty close to a complete loss for words and then offered the following explanation:  They asked me for the keys to apartment 12-X.

RCM-X: So you just gave them my keys?

Door-Child: Yes.

RCM-X:  What he [bleep] is wrong with you? 

About this time RCM-L returns from morning walk with dog and enters lobby of 350.

RCM-X says to RCM-L, “This guy just gave my keys to a complete stranger who just walked into my apartment!  What should I do?”

RCM-L: “Someone just walked in on you in your apartment?  Did you call the police? I would call the police”.

RCM-X turns to door-child and demands he find the stranger –  “NOW!” and stranger is summoned to lobby for questioning.  Door-child begins shaking and tells self how sorry he is. He becomes wrought with fear over the possibility of losing his job after only 3 weekends on duty. Both resident cast members take a few seconds to contemplate the moment. Suddenly, the intruding stranger emerges from elevator bank and rounds the corner into the lobby to answer to RCM-X.

RCM-X: How did you get the keys to my apartment? Who are you?

Stranger: I asked the doorman for them. I hope I didn’t get him in trouble – this was a mistake.

RCM-X: Who are you???

Stranger: Charlene.

RCM-X: Why did you have the keys to my apartment?  Do you live here? Do you know anyone who lives in this building? Have you ever been to this building before? Do you know the doorman? How did you even get in the building?

Charlene explains to the irate RCM that she did not live in the building, had never been to the building before, did not know the door-child, had come to clean an apartment on the 2nd floor and there had been a mistake at the “office”, as they had instructed her to go to apartment 12-X rather than 2-X.    

RCM-X asked Charlene the name of her cleaning company to which Charlene replied, “Well it’s really just me and my husband. We advertise our cleaning services on Craigslist and someone from this building called. When my husband got the call, he must have wrote [sic] down the wrong apartment number”.

RCM-X: So you don’t know the person who called you, you have never been to 350 East 52nd Street before, you ran an ad on Craigslist and the doorman just handed you my keys?

Charlene: Yes, I hope I didn’t get him in trouble.

To be continued. . . 

WARNING& DISCLAIMER:
Modern Staffing employees, who are only required to write their first and last name on a post it and have no proper training, do not warrant their ability to provide the tenants with a safe and secure environment, commiserate with the advertised “Luxury Living” standard. Tenants shall look solely to Modern Staffing and William Koeppel who shall remain liable for the personal safety as well as any and all incidental, consequential or special damages arising out of their failure to provide “Luxury Living” standards tenants were promised.

Note from the Sponsor: We have advised both Modern Staffing and William Koeppell on several occasions of the vast array of problems (see past episodes-especially ARREST) and they have steadfastly refused to conduct basic background checks, train the new staff, or responds to any of our complaints.

The Night Shift

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[We precede this episode with a reminder to our viewers of what many may seem obvious but, we have no way of knowing if William Koeppel, Jim Rexroat, or any ‘employees’ of the Modern Staffing & Security company watch our show. What we do  know is that they are unaware of the following and as a courtesy, we offer this information for William, Jim & Co., so that they too may enjoy the show!]

The Primary Objectives of a Doorman:

  • The Doorman primary objective is to do gate and door security in the venue he works with.
  • The Doorman primary objective is to assist people by supporting them in various ways depending on the venue he works with.
  • The Doorman primary objective is to receive and do appropriate actions regarding complaints in the venue he works with.

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The Doorman’s knowledge requirements

  • The Doorman must be capable of handling variety of serious responsibilities.
  • The Doorman must pass comprehensive background checks conducted by their employer.
  • The Doorman must have a clean criminal or police record.
  • The Doorman must have positive, friendly attitude that is capable of interacting well with the residents and guests.
  • The Doorman must have some maintenance experience for they may occasionally provide assistance to the staff of the venue.
  • The Doorman must devote their time and focus in securing the vicinity of the venue by inspecting people who wants to enter the venues premises.
  • The Doorman must have the ability to respond to any emergency situations.
  • The Doorman must be able to answer some basic questions about the vicinity or neighborhood and also wear a complete uniform.
  • The Doorman must stand on his feet for a very long period of time
  • The Doorman must be pleasing and patient enough while opening the doors repetitively and is capable of working outside whether in a cold, rainy or hot weather.    source

[Scene:  Resident Cast Members (RCM) assemble in the lobby as doorman sleeps peacefully.
Doorman: curled up, fetal position behind lobby desk]

RCM L  remains visibly upset that her granddaughter strolled past sleeping doorman two episodes ago. She wonders how many others stroll by between the hours of 11:00 pm and  7:00 am.
*
RCM J increases her apprehension by informing the cast that on
Monday, March 26th, 2012 at 10:34 pm when he arrived home, there was nobody at the door – or, anywhere at all.
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RCM J-2 attempts to one-up RCM J by announcing that when he arrived home 1:40 am on March 29th,  the doorman was fast asleep.
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In an apparent attempt to trump RCM J-2,  RCM J sends a surprise announcement to the cast via a text message: Fri, Mar 30, 2012 at 6:15 AM: Suprise-suprise-Doorman sleeping again.  
*
[The cast chuckles in unison]
*
[commercial break]
*

________

[New character introduction]
This is our night doorman in a waking state.
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Inline image 2
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and should you be lucky enough to see him awake, ask what the “G” on his hat stands for.
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[RCM continue discussion in lobby comparing recent stories of the lack of security at 350 East 52nd Street. Camera pans around lobby- the following conversations featured]
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“On Saturday, March 31st the porter’s girlfriend was the only one manning the lobby – seriously – she even opened the door for me”.
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“Someone left a cd for me at the front desk yesterday &  when I opened the cd case, it was empty.  It appears we may be better off when the doormen are asleep”.
*

“Last night I had a friend come by.  She got to the lobby at 1:50 am and the night doorman sent her up unannounced. He didn’t know how to look up my information even though she gave him my apartment number.  Even my friend found this to be unusual for a doorman”.
“Happens ALL the time to me.  What’s the point of paying extra in rent for a doorman when they can’t police the door, nor do they even open the door for you half the time!”
*

[At this point one RCM becomes irate to discover the doorman opens the door for another RCM - even if it is only half the time!  RCM storms off set]
*

One RCM made the following sign available for all to use freely:

 ♦
More exciting episodes coming up! Stay tuned for Saturday Morning Shock!
followed by RCM’s are heard at 17th Precinct Community Council Meeting and
Mouse In The House!
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